I know it was the right thing for me to do, but I still feel so mean.

I thought I had a pretty good chance of never having to officially turn anyone down while Bryan's gone, considering the fact I've gone 14 months without being officially asked on a date. I've always just been able to hint about the fact I'm not available before anybody got to the point of asking me out.

Not today apparently. =P

This guy's name is Nathan, and he's been in my Analysis class all semester. I'd never talked to him or anything, but like a month ago he started coming in and studying with us girls occasionally. We studied MWF from 10-1, always in the same place.

So today we had a review for the final that went from 12-2. After it was over I stuck around for a minute to give Dr. Lawlor a letter I wrote him telling him thanks and everything. So after I gave it to him I went out in the hall and turned left. Well, apparently this guy (Nathan) had been waiting on the right side of the door. He called my name out. I turned around and was like, "hey!" But really in the back of my mind I was afraid I knew what he was going to do.

He said, "So there's a basketball game on Thursday, and I was wondering if you're doing anything that night." I thought, "Oh crap." I tried to think of something I was doing Thursday night..then as I was thinking he said, "Or if you can't on Thursday we could do something Friday!" (as in next Friday.) And then I knew that I just had to tell him... he's such a nice guy and the last thing I'd want to do was lead him on... it's worse though because he just got home from his mission like at the end of July, and you can tell that it's taken him this long to get up the courage to ask anybody out. .

So, I said, "You know, I have to be honest with you...um, my best friend is on a mission right now and I've decided I'm not going to date or anything while he's gone...." He just stood there looking like I'd just slapped him in the face... I said, "So I'm really sorry. Thank you so much for the offer, but I can't..." He just stood there looking so sad... it was horrible! I felt like I'd just run him over with a bus and broken his heart into a million pieces! but I knew I had to tell him.

Of course we were walking the same direction so it was pretty awkward. I said, "You know, if you're still looking for someone to go with you, Brynn (one of my friends we do math with) isn't dating anybody right now and I'm sure she'd love to go." He sort of just stuttered... we walked on in awkward silence. Then he said, "How about Annalisse?" Oh geez... fyi, Annalisse went ring shopping with her boyfriend of two years last night and he's going to meet her parents this Christmas to ask her dad's permission to ask her to marry him... I said, "Um, she's basically engaged." And then we parted ways. I said, "Thank so much. Have a good day. I'll see you later."

And I feel like a mean horrible person. =P